SICK
by kakkujapojat
Summary: Mello doesn't just hate Near; he loathes him with every bone in his body. That emotionless, blank look that always rests in Near's eyes... Conflicted by emotions, and blinded by jealousy and hatred, just how far will Mello go to make Near show emotion?


**Author's Notes:**

**Maybe this fanfiction should have been the one titled "Obsession"... **

**Anyway, this is basically just a oneshot I wrote about Mello's hatred of Near. The other characters don't play much of a role in this, and it has no connection with my other fanfictions. **

**I like experimenting with my writing, so I decided to do a fanfic purely about Mello's 'psychotic' side. Which was fun :)**

**Warnings: Okay, the story is rated M. What can you expect from that?**

**(This story is very short, sweet, and to the point. I didn't go into a bunch of detail)**

**シック**

**SICK**

It wasn't that he hated Near; he just hated everything _about_ Near. There was quite a fine line between hating Near as a person, and hating the things that he did. Which...he didn't really do anything anyway, but Mello still couldn't stand him. Even if all of his brilliance was unintentional, Mello still wanted to strangle him every time the scores of another test were posted. He knew that this obsession, this hatred, this anger, came from nowhere. He knew he had no reason to hate Near. He knew he was sick. But he didn't care.

He told himself that if he could just beat Near at something, he would be satisfied, but deep in his heart Mello knew that wasn't true. There was something else he wanted from Near, something that Near had never shown to anyone before: emotion. It didn't matter what kind; even happiness would work, as long as Mello could wipe that expressionless, emotionless, blank look off of the other boy's face. Mello wouldn't rest until that day came.

So every day after classes, every morning at breakfast, every evening at dinner, every night in the common room, Mello watched him. He noted every movement, everything Near did. His eyes were always on the boy. It didn't matter what he was doing, or where, Mello was always watching him. At night, all Mello could think about was Near. He went over plans in his head, ways to humiliate Near, ways to torment him. The first thing he thought about when he woke up in the morning were possible ways he could make Near's life a living hell. All of these were just mere fantasies, of course. Mello had never done anything to harm Near, however desperately he wanted to. The plan had to be perfect, of course, before he could act.

Of course, Mello snagged every chance he could for the 'little' victories: "accidentally" tripping Near in the hallway, taking things from the other boy's room; incidents that Near would never bother to report. It wasn't as if he didn't know it was Mello doing all of these things, but he simply kept quiet about the matter, appearing -as he did with everything else- not to care about it.

At the same time he hated him, Near was also a mystery to Mello. Even though Mello studied him every chance he could, he understood nothing about Near. He had no idea where he came from, or what he was like behind the emotionless mask he always wore. Mello wondered about these unanswered mysteries constantly, but mostly focused on his main goal: breaking Near. He would find some way to do it. He had to before he went completely insane.

"Hey, Mello..." Matt shook his friend out of his reverie as they both sat in the common room that afternoon after classes.

"Huh? What is it?" Mello tore his gaze away from the pale boy sitting across the room and concentrated on what Matt was saying. Or...tried to, anyway.

"Have you even been listening to the last half of the conversation?" Matt asked irritably.

"Yeah, you were talking about...something..." Mello shifted uneasily, longing to look back at Near again.

Matt sighed and rolled his eyes at the other boy's lack of interest. "Never mind. I'm going to my room to play some games. Do you wanna come?"

"No thanks. I'll stay here," Mello replied, gratefully turning back around to stare across the room again.

"What's so interesting about Near that you have to stare at him all the time?" Matt asked, following Mello's gaze. "He's not going to vaporize from your hate waves, you know."

"I'm not trying to make him vaporize," Mello snapped. "More like...studying."

"Studying? Near? What subject is that for?" Matt laughed. "Obsession 101?"

"I'm not obsessed."

"Could've fooled me." Matt sighed again. "Well, as long as you're occupied, I guess. I'll see you around."

"See you."

He heard Matt's footsteps fading away, and then the door opening and closing.

Mello continued watching Near, unwrapping a chocolate bar as he did so. _I honestly don't know what's so interesting about him, myself. He's a mystery, certainly. But is all of this stalking really necessary...?_

As usual, Mello began to go through various scenarios in his head; ways to humiliate Near, ways to hurt him, ways to make him show some sort of emotion. Stealing his clothes while he was in the shower was a possibility, or locking him in a closet. Mello thought carefully, losing himself in his twisted thoughts.

It was a few moments later that he was once again interrupted in mid-thought by an annoying voice from behind him.

"Mello, hi!"

He gave an irritated sigh. "What do you want, Linda?"

"Didn't you hear?" she said. "The test results were just posted! Everyone's going to look right now."

"Great. I don't really see why I have to look anymore. No point in getting my hopes up." Mello pulled himself up from the floor and looked back at Near for another moment; the boy hadn't moved from his spot.

"Mello...are you coming?" Linda prompted.

"Wha...yeah." He reluctantly turned back around and followed Linda out of the common room, where the familiar crowd of students were gathered around the bulletin board. This would be their fifth test of the month.

Mello pushed a few younger kids out of the way and looked over the list. He could feel his blood boiling again as he read the first name; even though he had expected it, and it definitely wasn't anything new, he still grew furious looking at Near's success written down on paper. He was sick of losing.

It was then that Mello decided. The plan would start tomorrow. He would teach Near a lesson.

That night, Mello constructed everything inside his head. Every single step, right down to the last detail. Carefully and meticulously planning every bit, one by one, he came up with the perfect way to humiliate Near.

**OoOoOoOoOoOo**

The next morning was Saturday: no classes.

Mello woke up earlier than usual, so he would be sure to have time before Near got to the common room.

His hands shook slightly as he changed his clothes; was he nervous about what he was going to do? Would he feel remorse for it afterwards? Mello convinced himself that Near deserved this, that he had been asking for it all along. Yet at the same time he felt a funny knot twist in his stomach.

When he reached Near's room, he didn't bother knocking on the door. There could be no hesitation, or Mello knew he would chicken out and not go through with it. He didn't know what was possessing him at this moment, all he knew was that he had to go through with his plan.

When he opened the door, Near was in the process of changing clothes, and looked up when Mello entered. "Good morning," he said -emotionless as always. "Would you mind coming back once I'm fully dressed?" he added, his gaze not meeting Mello's.

Mello smirked and went to sit over on the bed. "What's the matter? We're both boys – can't we see each other undress?"

Near sighed and proceeded to take clean clothes from his closet, knowing that Mello wouldn't leave the room anyway.

"You know what, Near?" Mello said, standing up and walking over to the other boy, grabbing his wrist. "Don't bother putting on any clothes." He leaned very close to Near and whispered in his ear, "You won't need them."

**OoOoOoOoOoOo**

There were quite a few kids in the common room that morning. It was already noon, so most of them were awake by now. Linda sat over in the corner drawing, while some of the boys chased each other around the room. Since it was raining, they weren't able to go outside as they usually did. This, Mello was grateful for.

"Get moving," he ordered, giving Near a prod in the back to make him move forward. The other boy was shaking, but so far he hadn't uttered a sound.

Mello was trembling all over; how was it that he seemed more nervous than Near? His heart was racing, both with excitement, and possible fear. "I said get moving," he repeated, pushing Near out into the common room.

The boys noticed the new arrival, and turned towards the entrance as the door closed behind Mello. All of them, the ones who joined Mello in his hatred of Near, the ones who supported Mello's sick obsession right down to the very core, they laughed. They were as pleased with this humiliation as Mello was. Mello felt a sense of pride resonating from inside him; the boys approved, they admired it. Mello had done something that they would never have attempted in a million years.

Several of the girls looked shocked; Linda was standing frozen in her spot -staring- mortified by what Mello had done.

As the laughter increased, Mello went and stood in front of Near, facing the boy with an amused smirk on his face. "Well how do you like it? Being completely stripped down, having people stare at you like this? Being the center of attention?"

Near looked away from Mello, his face still blank – though there was slight tint of pink in his face. "I always thought that it was Mello who enjoyed being the center of attention," he replied softly.

Mello's smirk turned into a glare. "What is that supposed to mean?!"

"What exactly do you hope to accomplish by humiliating me? In a couple weeks, they won't even remember this. And even if you keep doing it, eventually they will get bored," Near said.

His hands tied behind his back as they were, Near couldn't reach up to twirl his hair like he usually did, though Mello was certain that if he was able – he would be doing it. His calm and expressionless tone always coincided with his actions.

Mello could feel his hands shaking, his whole body ablaze with rage. Without even thinking about it, his hand came through the air and smacked Near straight in the face.

He could see Near wince as he struck him, but the other boy showed no more emotion than that.

Furious, Mello grabbed Near's arm and marched him out of the common room, down the main hallway, and then into the boys' dorms - pushing him down in the hallway once they were completely inside. He could hear a thud as Near hit the wall, and then landed on the floor.

"Get up!" Mello demanded. "Now!"

Slowly, Near stood up, and Mello whirled him around and pushed him through the door to his room. He untied Near's hands and kicked him hard in the back, causing the other boy to land on the floor.

"If Roger asks about this, it never happened. Understand!?" Mello said angrily. "You won't accuse me, and you _will_ defend me!" He knelt down on the floor and gripped a handful of Near's hair, forcing him to look up into his face. "Understand!?"

"Yes, Mello," Near said softly. "I understand."

Letting go of his hair, Mello stood up and stalked to the door, flinging it open. "You'll get what you deserve! I'll see to that." And he promptly slammed the door.

Mello tossed and turned in his sleep that night, unable to rest. All he could think about was Near's expressionless face. No matter what he did, Mello failed to disturb the boy. The thought of Near made him sick now; his stomach churned whenever he thought about what he did to him, but it also gave him a new air of excitement. If something like that wouldn't break Near, he would have to find another way; he would have to do something much, much worse to the boy.

**OoOoOoOoOoOo**

The next morning, Near wasn't in the common room. Mello felt he had made another meager victory; perhaps the boy was to ashamed to show his face around the orphanage now.

Just as he was relishing in this thought, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and whirled around to see Linda standing behind him, looking angry.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"What you did to Near yesterday was really mean, Mello!" she said. "I wanted to go to Roger about it, but Near told me not to. I don't get why he's defending you, unless you scared him into being quiet!"

Mello smirked. "So what if I did?"

"You're...sick!" she cried. "You're very sick, Mello. Something must be wrong with you for you to do something like that."

"It's none of your business, so why don't you stay out of it?" Mello said, bringing himself up to full height, towering over Linda.

Linda gave him a disgusted glare, and turned and walked off to the other side of the common room.

As he watched after her, Mello spotted Matt in one of the window seats, his eyes glued to a DS.

"Hey," Mello said, approaching the seat.

Matt looked up at him, and then back down very quickly.

"What's with that look?" Mello asked, sitting down beside him.

"I heard about what you did to Near yesterday..." he said.

"And?"

"I don't think you should have done that."

"What are you now? My mom?" Mello asked irritably.

"I knew you didn't like him, Mello, but this is going a bit too far. He hasn't even done anything to you," Matt replied.

"What do you know?!" Mello fired.

Matt shook his head. "You've got problems, Mello. I don't want to be a part of this any longer." He stood up and started to walk away, but Mello grabbed his arm.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing!?"

"I'm leaving." He wrenched his arm out of Mello's grip. "Don't talk to me again."

Mello watched in disbelief as Matt disappeared out the common room door.

_Near...this is all your fault! If Matt hates me now, it's because of you! I'll find you, and I'll make you pay! I don't care what I have to do to hurt you this time..._

Near was sitting in his room when Mello entered that afternoon.

"So? Too embarrassed to come in the common room now?" Mello said with a smirk.

"What do you want?" Near asked, his tone blank.

"That's simple," Mello replied, going over and placing his hands on Near's shoulders, digging his nails into the other boy's skin. "I want to hurt you, very badly."

Near didn't flinch when he said this, but Mello hadn't expected him to. He turned Near around to face him and squeezed his shoulders even harder. "And how exactly do you plan to hurt me, Mello?" Near asked evenly, undisturbed by the growing rage in Mello's eyes.

Mello didn't reply as he pushed Near to the ground, forcing him against the floor. "I'll rip you apart if that's what it takes," he whispered into Near's ear as he yanked off the other boy's clothes.

Even knowing what Mello was about to do, Near remained still as he felt it. Maybe he was frozen in fear, or he just felt it would be easier not to fight it.

When he heard the boy cry out beneath him, Mello smiled. "You'll feel it soon enough," he said.

He shoved as hard as he could against Near, and he heard the boy plant his fist in his mouth to contain his voice.

"Go ahead, Near," Mello said, panting heavily. "Go ahead and cry out. I doubt anyone will hear you, but it'll feel good to scream. After all, you know this is going to hurt."

Mello did everything he could to try and force a sound out of Near; the other boy only bit down harder on his hand to keep quiet, making muffled noises as Mello's movements became rougher, and more painful. Each shove felt like it was tearing him wide open, and Mello was only trying to make it worse. Near could feel the scream building up inside him, ready to shatter the air at any moment.

Mello's mind was in a haze; almost automatically, he continued forcing himself into the other boy. As if he wasn't himself. As if he really had lost control over his own mind. He tried to justify his reason for doing this, for hurting Near this way. But nothing came to him. Only his own sick, selfish desires seemed to make sense. Mello was afraid himself, afraid of what he was doing, of why he was doing it. But he was terrified that if he stopped now, he would feel too guilty; he had to finish it, had to prove to himself that Near deserved this.

When he heard Near's scream, he felt his heart skip a beat and he froze against the other boy, his whole body trembling as though he had been dumped in a bucket full of ice. Then the sound of weak sobbing reached his ears, the sound of Near finally breaking beneath him.

"Mello...p-please stop. I-it hurts..." Near said softly, his voice tinged with pain.

Numbly, Mello pulled away from Near and collapsed on the floor, almost in shock as the other boy rested on the ground, breathing heavily, grateful. Mello felt something warm beneath his fingertips, and when he brought his hand up to see, he could feel his face drain of color as he saw the red liquid. _I...made him bleed? I...I actually hurt him. I wanted to, and I hurt him... _But it didn't feel as good as he'd expected it to. He felt something gnawing at his stomach, an uneasy feeling he couldn't explain. The room began to spin, and Mello felt lightheaded. _I am sick...Linda was right, something's wrong with me... It's Near. He's making me do this...he's making me go crazy... As long as he's around, it'll always be this way. Hurting him won't solve this. I...I have to... _Once more, as though his body was on autopilot, he whirled around and seized the first object that his hand grasped, and then staggered over to where Near was just pulling himself up from the ground, shaking. Mello could almost smell the blood in the air, all of his senses now heightened to the extreme.

Near was paler than even normal, and his eyes were wide as he looked up at Mello, as though asking why the boy had done something like this. Mello looked down at the object in his hand; it was the bedside lamp. In one swing, he could do it; it would all be over with. _I...can't control myself anymore. Even if I wanted to stop, I don't think I could. This hatred, it...it's taking over me. I'm not even capable of thinking clearly anymore. What have I done? _

_But now that I've gone this far, I can't stop. I have to end it... _He could feel his hand raising, lifting the lamp into the air. Near was shrinking before his eyes -terrified, Mello knew. He could see it in Near's eyes. The emotion he'd wanted to see for so long.

"Near..." Mello could feel himself shaking, but it was in fear and not anger. "Near, scream," he said softly. It wasn't an order; it was a warning. He was only trying to protect Near from what he was about to do. "Scream, please!" Mello begged. "Scream."

_Scream so that someone might come before I do this..._

Mello could feel his arm swing out, of its own accord, towards the boy in front of him.

"Mello, stop!"

Mello felt the lamp collide with something, and before he could blink, the lamp was wrenched out of his grip and someone was standing safely between him and Near. Mello's breathing relaxed as he stared at the person in front of him now.

It was Matt. He was the one who had cried out, not Near.

_Thank God... Thank God..._

"Mello, what the hell is this!? What did you do?!" Matt cried.

The other boys were crowding around the doorway now, having heard the fight.

"Someone get Roger!" Mello heard one of the boys say.

But he barely heard anything after that. His vision was obscured as the tears began to fill his eyes and streak down his face. He fell to his knees on the floor, sobbing, his whole body shaking. Mello didn't know if it was fear or relief that was making him cry; maybe a mixture of both. He could see Near, still sitting frozen on the ground, staring wide-eyed at Mello, his expression a mixture of horror and fear.

Suddenly, Mello started laughing. He didn't know what had taken him over this time, but he laughed out loud, his shoulders shaking with every breath. It was hysterical, uncontrollable laughter; he leaned forward as it echoed across the room, chilling the air. Everyone stood as though rooted to the ground, staring at him with an expression similar to Near's. He knew what they must be thinking; that he had gone insane, that he really was sick. And they were right. He laughed again as he evaluated his own mental state. They were right. All of them were right. He was sick. He was insane. And he didn't care. Because he had gotten what he had wanted. He had achieved the very thing he had striven for the entire time. Mello knew he had been sick from the very beginning, when the plans for Near had first started to evolve. He hadn't cared then, and he didn't care now. He laughed harder. Mello didn't care, because Near had gotten what he deserved; he had been punished for making the other boy sick in the first place. Mello had forced the human side of him out into the open. And he had become insane in the process.

He was still laughing when Roger came in the room.

**Author's Notes:**

**Well, this is my first one-shot so I hope I did okay... I originally intended it to be a little different, but I think I like it the way it is. **

**It was hard for me to write the scene where Mello humiliates Near in front of everyone, just because the whole time I was thinking, "This is such a sick idea..." but I did my best. I know the ending isn't very summed up, but I wanted it that way; I wanted people to come up with their own idea of what happened afterwards. The beauty of imagination. :)**

**It was fun making Mello go psycho. :)**

**I know this oneshot was a little similar to the game 'Poisoned' but really I tried to make it different, and I think towards the end it differed a bit from the things that happened in the game. Of course, I know Akane and I aren't the only people who could picture Mello killing (or trying to kill) Near. So the idea isn't that original, but oh well. **

**I still hope everyone enjoyed it :)**

**It only took me about an hour or so to finish this, anyway. I'm currently working on a sequel to "Obsession". So far I'm on chapter 4, and I think it's going pretty smoothly. :)**

**I hope everyone likes it as well :)**


End file.
